Reflections from First Semester of Urban Planning Program

What I Was Hoping For?

Not much, honestly. For about five years I contemplated going back to school and getting my masters, but it was always just a thought, nothing more. During this time, I was advancing in my career as a non-profit program "professional". I was making more and more money each year. I even supervised people with masters degrees, so my ego was content.  At some point in my late 20s, I was looking for more money and more decision making power in my work. I thought that getting a masters degree, perhaps in public administration or organizational development, would give me an edge, since I had experienced ageism many times in my career as a young program manager and director. But, ultimately, I looked into these programs and felt uninspired. 

Then came 2020 and with it a resurface of my anger and reminder of injustice. This translated into courage and speaking my truth. This also translated to transitioning out of my role, unexpectedly. I suddenly had time to reimagine and become aware of how much of my worth and value I placed on my labor and productivity. I was determined to unlearn this. 

Then surfaced Urban Planning. I knew very little about this field, but something about it interested me. Perhaps the creative part of it. The possibilities part of it. Unlike my early 20s, I was now in a place where I could hold multiple truths, the "yes, ands" of things. I knew planning was responsible for a lot of the disparity present in my community and the neighborhoods I grew up in. I also knew the world was shifting, slowly, but definitely shifting. I am committed to be part of this shift. To be of service, not to the non-profit industrial complex, but of service to my community, to my ancestors. Provide this service in multiple ways and a commitment to serving through a place of love. Urban Design could perhaps be one way to serve. So I applied to the university and was admitted. 

What was I hoping to find? A drop of inspiration. A drop of hope. I knew an institution would at the very least give me a certificate saying I was certified in some way to do "this". Anything more than that to me would be a win. This is just how jaded I was/am. I knew most of my learning would come from community and on the ground. My fifth grade teacher once told me that I was never the type of student that needed a teacher for me to learn. He knew I was a self-learner. This is very present in my journey now. Academia is often a shitty institution that profits from people's curiosity and creativity. It values certain knowledge and completely invalidates and disregards other knowledge and ways of being. I'm a part of this institution. This institution harms me and it also gives me privileges. It's a nuanced relationship for me. But this time I was entering with protection. Magic and ancestral guidance. 

So, I came in with a plan. Learn how planning has happened, how it happens now... in this shitty white violence system. Learn how it's gotten "better" and connect with my curiosity and my vision along the way. Imagine how things could be different. Magical. And maybe, just maybe, along the way...connect with loving, creative, and radical people also imagining and creating this new world that centers love, dignity for all, and healing. 

So I'm praying and calling in these people. I am ready to dream, create, heal with you. Since the beginning, this has been my hope. A degree is a made up thing this society created. I'm committed to learning (inside and outside of the classroom). I am taking only what calls me and leaving the rest. I'm not consuming this information as the truth, but rather one perspective.  Above all, my hope is to heal and support the healing of our communities. We do not need a degree for that. We just need to center love.